FOCUS ON WHERE WE ARE
“The past is what makes us know how to proceed…”
Respecting the things we have done in the past and learning from those actions will make us better people. Understand that we need to let go of the whole past if we are to move on to be better in the future. Looking at the different things that we have been through in the past we find that we don’t want to let go of the things we did right and have a hard time releasing them for fear that that we are who we are because of the things we have done in the past. That is not true we are who we are because of the things we are doing to move into the future. When we stay stuck in the past, we find that we are comfortable with who we are based on who we were, or fail to make progress to make thing right or better in the future, all we will find is discontent and unhappiness. We need to respect that we cannot change the past and move on to living in the present moment taking care not to do the things we have done wrong in the past. Careful attention and not forgetting those things we have done will help us forgive ourselves. Deep down we are all good people who have all made mistakes and despite those things, we deserve to find happiness in the future. How we think and act now will change the way we feel about the past. When we can first forgive ourselves, then we can look at ways we can feel better about the past. We may need to take actions to correct things we have done and right the wrongs, but we shouldn’t beat ourselves up for them. When our past is consuming or paralyzing us, it is keeping us from moving forward, from being happy and having the lives we deserve.
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LEARN FROM THE PAST
If we fail to learn from the things we have done in the past, we are more likely to repeat the same mistakes now and in the future. Sometimes it may take making the same mistake a couple times to really learn from them. Ideally, when we make a mistake or do something that did not turn out the way we would like it, we would correct it, make it right and find another way to go about accomplishing what we set out to do. When we don’t see that it was a wrong move until well after the fact, we should do whatever we can to take corrective measures, as soon as possible and look to find a bright spot to focus on while we look for that other way to get done what we set out to do.
The way that other people view us and see us, being the based in how they remember us, it is to our advantage to be a stand up kind of person and go on to show others that the mistakes we have made are not really who we are, but only a mistake that we have owned and are not going to let hold us back from being the best person we can be now or in the future. People like people who do not let mistakes keep them down and continue to pursue their dreams, despite a setback or two. People are also more likely to help or support someone who is responsible for their actions and shows the ability to keep going where others would give up.
FOCUS
When we focus on the present and avoid focusing on the past we learn to understand that all human problems are caused by unsatisfying present situations, relationships or lack of connection to the things we have and want
Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment without dwelling on the past or future.
LEARN
Our past and the way we use it to our advantage is about letting it go, First, of the negative outcomes by owning them and knowing that we did everything in our power to make them right. Second, embrace the thing we have done right and don’t let ourselves let them be the thing that defines who we are today. Last, learn from them both.
LIVE
The problem relationship and lack of things we want are always part of our present life. What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but shouldn’t keep us from having the relationships and things we want in the future. We can only satisfy our needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
Beginning in our minds the fears that we have and issues of the past that we may need to resolve or release can be paralyzing. Our lack of careful attention to releasing those things is what holds us back the most. These things we need to put behind us are only things that exist in our minds. They may be real to us, because of the way we think about them. When we hide from them or don’t face them, we are setting ourselves up for failure or at the very least make things harder for ourselves than they should be. Changing the way we think about our fears or the past comes to us from identifying how they affect us and knowing that they only hold power over us because of lack of action to do something that counters them.
We are what we do. Not what we’ve done.
“Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic” would only be true if you did not do the things to right the past. The same is true if we say, “Once a football star, always a football star.” Defining what we were and what we are and separating the two brings us a clearer picture of who we really are or what we will become. We are always changing and the things we did in the past are the lessons we use to be the person we are being today. The things we do today will be the lessons that will make us be who we are in the future. Inside we are only what we think we are, and if we hold on to the past we begin to see that we have changed and we are no longer who we were.
Not taking anything personally when something happens that displeases us and accepting that we will have bad days, unpleasant moments and things we would have liked to have turned out different, will help us look forward to what awaits us in our future.
Dwelling on the past, brings us out of the present moment, even things that happened minutes ago, we may miss out on inspiration, fail to see or hear opportunities in the Now. We lose precious time every moment we spend focusing on the past. The best use of the past is as a lesson of the things we want to continue to do or not do to be the person we want to be.
If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change
Michael Joseph Jackson 1958 –2009