THE PAST

Letting go of the past is an essential part of moving forward in life, but there are three key things we must understand about this process. First, when we’re asked to let go of the past, we’re not discarding the lessons we’ve learned. We’re acknowledging that while we can’t change the actions of the past, we can change their outcomes. Second, letting go of the past means releasing the belief that we’re destined to act, be, or end up a certain way. We have the power to control how past events affect us and the actions we take now. And finally, we are not defined by the things we’ve done in the past.

Respecting our past and learning from it can help us become better people. However, to truly move forward, we must let go of it. It’s easy to hold on to the things we did right, fearing that without those accomplishments, we won’t know who we are. But the truth is, we are defined not by what we did in the past but by what we’re doing in the present, to shape our future. If we stay stuck in the past, we risk finding comfort in the identity we’ve built, based on who we were rather than who we can become. This stagnation leads to discontent and unhappiness.

We must respect the past for what it is but not let it control our present. Moving on means living in the moment, being mindful of the mistakes we’ve made without dwelling on them. Acknowledging and forgiving ourselves for those past actions will help us heal. At our core, we are all good people who have made mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find happiness moving forward. When we begin to forgive ourselves, we can look at the past with new eyes and find ways to feel better about what has come before.

While we may need to take actions to correct past wrongs, we shouldn’t beat ourselves up for them. If the past is consuming us, it’s keeping us from the happiness we deserve and preventing us from moving forward. When we fail to learn from our past mistakes, we risk repeating them. Sometimes it may take making the same mistake multiple times before we truly learn the lesson. Ideally, when we falter, we correct our course, fix the wrong, and find a new path forward.

If we don’t realize we’ve made a mistake until long after the fact, we should take immediate steps to correct it. And while doing so, we can focus on the bright side, allowing ourselves to grow from the experience. The past is more about how we are perceived by others than it is about who we are. If we’ve wronged someone, they may hold on to resentment and remember us by our mistakes, not by who we are now. But true healing comes when we make things right with them, allowing both parties to move forward.

It’s never too late to correct the mistakes of the past. In learning from them, we become less likely to repeat the same errors in the future. The saying “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic” only holds true if we refuse to make amends. The same is true for any part of our past—we don’t have to let it define us. The key is to separate who we were from who we are becoming. We are constantly evolving, and the mistakes of the past serve as lessons for the person we are becoming today.

The way others view us is based on their memory of who we were. But we must remember: we are not defined by the past, and we can reshape how others see us by being consistent in our actions and growth. It’s important to stand tall and show that our mistakes don’t define us. Rather, they’re part of our story, one that we’ve acknowledged and learned from, pushing forward into our best selves.

People are drawn to those who don’t let their failures keep them down. When we keep going despite setbacks, others are more likely to support and help us, recognizing our resilience. Our past, with all its mistakes and successes, is a tool for growth. Let it go—first by owning our mistakes and doing everything in our power to make things right, second by embracing our successes without letting them define us, and finally, by learning from it all.

FOCUS

When we focus on the present and avoid focusing on the past we learn to understand that all human problems are caused by unsatisfying present situations, relationships or lack of connection to the things we have and want

Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment without dwelling on the past or future.

LEARN

Our past and the way we use it to our advantage is about letting it go, First, of the negative outcomes by owning them and knowing that we did everything in our power to make them right. Second, embrace the thing we have done right and don’t let ourselves let them be the thing that defines who we are today. Last, learn from them both.

LIVE

The problem relationship and lack of things we want are always part of our present life. What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but shouldn’t keep us from having the relationships and things we want in the future. We can only satisfy our needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.

Beginning in our minds the fears that we have and issues of the past that we may need to resolve or release can be paralyzing. Our lack of careful attention to releasing those things is what holds us back the most. These things we need to put behind us are only things that exist in our minds. They may be real to us, because of the way we think about them. When we hide from them or don’t face them, we are setting ourselves up for failure or at the very least make things harder for ourselves than they should be. Changing the way we think about our fears or the past comes to us from identifying how they affect us and knowing that they only hold power over us because of lack of action to do something that counters them.  

We are what we do. Not what we’ve done.

“Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic” would only be true if you did not do the things to right the past. The same is true if we say, “Once a football star, always a football star.” Defining what we were and what we are and separating the two brings us a clearer picture of who we really are or what we will become. We are always changing and the things we did in the past are the lessons we use to be the person we are being today. The things we do today will be the lessons that will make us be who we are in the future. Inside we are only what we think we are, and if we hold on to the past we begin to see that we have changed and we are no longer who we were.

 Dwelling on the past, brings us out of the present moment, even things that happened minutes ago, we may miss out on inspiration, fail to see or hear opportunities in the Now. We lose precious time every moment we spend focusing on the past. The best use of the past is as a lesson of the things we want to continue to do or not do to be the person we want to be. 

The way that other people view us and see us, being the based in how they remember us, it is to our advantage to be a stand up kind of person and go on to show others that the mistakes we have made are not really who we are, but only a mistake that we have owned and are not going to let hold us back from being the best person we can be now or in the future. People like people who do not let mistakes keep them down and continue to pursue their dreams, despite a setback or two. People are also more likely to help or support someone who is responsible for their actions and shows the ability to keep going where others would give up.