“Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it.” Michael J Fox

Today is a new day and I hope you all find things that make you all more of the person you want to be and ways to get the things you want in your lives.

If there is anything I can do or you need help contact me. I am here for you and we are all one.

Sermon on Acceptance June 28, 2009

By: Reverend Scott Henning – United Spiritual Ground Ministries – Ogden, UT.

If I were to give you something or make an offer to give you something and you were willing to receive it for what it is, you have practiced acceptance. If you are left, wanting more from me, or the expectation that it is anything more than what it is, then are you really practicing acceptance?

To receive something without reservation for what it is without protest or attempting to change it, is true acceptance. This can be more difficult at some times than others. There are times that you may be faced with a negative or uncomfortable experience or situation that though, it may not be ideal, when you choose to let it be what it is, that is practicing acceptance. When a situation is both disliked and unchangeable, or when change may be possible only at great cost or risk, this may suggest a path to acceptance.

Self acceptance is being loving and happy with who you are NOW. It’s an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and support who you are at this moment.

For example, think of acceptance of yourself like being okay with your house right now. One day you might want a bigger house or you have this dream house in your mind, but there are advantages to your smaller home now. So you can be happy with the house you have now and still dream of your bigger house as a reality later.

Self acceptance leads to a new life with new possibilities that did not exist before because you were caught up in the struggle against reality. People have trouble accepting themselves because of a lack of motivation. Some have this misconception that if you are happy with yourself you won’t change things about yourself. This isn’t true, you don’t have to be unhappy with yourself to know and actively change things you don’t like.Acceptance could be called the first step in change.

Acceptance may imply a lack of outward attempts at possible change, or it is possible to practice acceptanceeven though you desire change. The desire to change can be aided by the practice of acceptance and change may requireacceptance to come to fruition. To accept things for what they are or what it is, is acceptance. You may ask, “when can acceptance be used to resolve situations where a person feels disturbed by a “person, place, thing or situation, or some fact of life which is unacceptable.” Once there is full acceptance, then it may be a catalyst for change. That’s not to say that you have to accept things to affect change, quite the contrary, someone may decide to take or not take action against a situation and yet be said to have not accepted it. So the change has to come from within yourself and can only be faced after acceptance.

There is a difference between acceptance and resignation, you have to accept loss and not try to bear it alone. Realization has a lot to do with acceptance when it comes to loss of any kind, relationships, jobs, opportunities, or the death of someone close to you. Accepting a person is gone when dealing with death can be the hardest loss to find peace in practicing acceptance.

Acceptance of a loss, whatever the loss is, does not mean you are forgetting or that you won’t ever feel sad again.Acceptance is a turning point that means better things are to come. Acceptance is about understanding what has happened and that it cannot be changed.

It can be hard to define the stages of acceptance when dealing with loss because of questions you will ask yourself while working through things you have to, to find acceptance. You may think your feelings should be more intense, different or that you should feel better or worse. Just remember acceptances comes in phases just like everything else.

There are five stages by which people deal with grief and tragedy and ultimately it must end in acceptance. This is especially true when someone is diagnosed with or suffering from terminal illness or any form of catastrophic personal loss like your job, income or your freedom This may also include significant life events such as the death of a loved one, divorce, drug addiction, or infertility.

Understanding the five stages that ultimately end in acceptance not only helps you come to acceptance, but can help you comfort someone else while they find acceptance. The steps to acceptance do not necessarily come in any order, nor are all steps experienced by all people, though most will always experience at least two. People may switch between two or more stages, returning to them several times before findingacceptance. As people experience the stages they should not force the process. One should merely be aware that the stages will be worked through and the ultimate stage of “Acceptance” will be reached. Finding the way to acceptance is highly personal and should not be rushed, nor lengthened, or have any imposed time frame.

The stage of “Denial” is usually only a temporary defense for people. This feeling heightens awareness of situations and is important in bringing about acceptance. “This can’t be happening, not to me.” When a person is feeling this or another form of this, they will more than likely soon recognize that denial cannot continue. They may move on to the stage of “Anger” and it is then the person may be difficult or have difficulties due to misplaced feelings of rage or envy and may projected resentment and jealousy. “Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”;“Who is to blame?” are all examples of how anger replaces denial and is part of bringing about acceptance. Thestage that involves “Bargaining” for the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay acceptance of their problem or difficulties. Usually in the form of some type of negotiation with someone or a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. “Just give me one more chance, I’ll change.”; “I’ll do anything for another chance.”; “I will give my life savings if…” Sometimes bargaining works to avoid acceptance for the time being, when it fails it is usually followed by astage of “Depression” and the person begins to understand the certainty of or magnitude of their problem or difficulty, they may focus on the futility of fighting bringing them closer toacceptance. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying or grieving. They may revisit other stages to acceptance even disconnect themselves from things of love and refuse affection. Little can be done to cheer up an individual up that is in this stage, though is an important stage and only time will lead them to acceptance. hat must be processed. When a person says, “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”;“I’m going to die . . . What’s the point?”; “I miss my loved one, why go on?” , They may be crying out for someone to listen to them and feel their pain and help them find acceptance.

When a person experiences problems working through the stages they should be encouraged to consider seeking spiritual advise, professional counseling or support groups to help them find acceptance. When a person starts to find peace and understanding of their problem or difficulty they are facing they are findingacceptance and they may say things like,” It’s going to be okay.”; “I can’t fight it, I may as well accept it.” And when they haveacceptance their whole outlook will change.

Acceptance could be seen as an act of believing or assenting. For instance, Christians believe and accept that Jesus Christ is their Lord and Savior. Acceptance is prominent in most faiths and meditation practices. In Buddhism’s first noble truth, “All life is suffering”, invites people to accept that suffering is a natural part of life. While the term “Kabbalah” means literally acceptance. Within Catholic beliefs acceptance is key to being a committed and devoted catholic. In the Muslim community, acceptance of Allah as their higher being is similar to people that are considered Christian and how they accept God as their higher being. Judaism it has showed to have some similar beliefs in that they accept the Ten Commandments as a way to live and have a good and fulfilling life. Our individual beliefs can in different ways be related to acceptance in everyday life. Beliefs on acceptance can be very diverse. The acceptance of ones beliefs is important to show commitment and structure of ones life.

Not only is acceptance vital for survival it is a utility that is used in our everyday relationships. To gain or not gain acceptance from family, a friend or in society could have an impact on an individual’s self esteem and well being. In fact, without the acceptance this could lead to psychological issues.

Minority groups in society often describe their goal as “acceptance“, which has to deal with positive welcome; favor and endorsement acceptance for who people are. Don’t we all want to be accepted for who we are, and live in a world where a person could like someone and have acceptance for them due to the fact that the are just another person who could benefit by acceptance. Social acceptance effects us all children, teenagers and adults. It also can affect people of all ages with mental disabilities because social acceptance determines many decisions people make in life.

Among children and teenagers, they do a lot of things to try and be accepted among friends and gain theacceptance of their parents. There is a balance that needs to be reached and as parents we need to show ouracceptance for our children as the individuals they are and find acceptance in the fact that peer pressure sometimes determines how they do their hair and decides what clothes they want to wear. It also determines what they are willing to do to as far as smoking, drinking, swearing and much more, just to have acceptance of those whose friendship they value.

As adults we do some of the same things out of the desire for the acceptance and approval of our friends, neighbors and co-workers. To be one of the gang, we do some of the same things like drinking, swearing or taking drugs just to fit in. To gain acceptance of others. We base fashion on the latest tips from magazines and fashion experts and in order to fit in with others, we tend look and act like them. Acceptance is a term that refers to the ability to accept, or to tolerate differences and diversity in other people or groups of people. Social acceptance is important to us all and the world could be a better place if we all practice acceptance of others for who they are.

We are all of the same makeup and we all have blood, sweat and tears. We all want the good things life has for us, our families and friends. Through the practice of acceptance of what is, people and situations for who they are, we will find peace. Acceptance will help us find that peace together and make this a better world.